Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Baby Bump

My dad's best friend passed away on Saturday and last night my sister took me to the funeral home. The doctor said it was ok to start doing more as long as I sit when I need to and there was just no way I was going to not pay my respects. I knew it meant a lot to my dad. I tell you what though, there is something about strangers and a belly bump. I had so many people touching on my belly last night and/or asking when I was due. Of course I expected it, but my family members that I was sitting with would chime in and that started to bug me some. When are you due? If I got a dollar for every time I was asked that last night, I'd be able to buy at least 2 packs of diapers :) How do you answer that? My original due date is 7/16 but that was for a single baby. The doctors are aiming for 36wks but the truth is I could go any day. So I figured the easy answer was to use 36 wks and was telling people due in 2 weeks. A few family members thought it necessary to correct me and tell people I was really due in July so then I had to explain everything. Oh well. My dad was just super excited to tell everyone that I was his daughter carrying his twin grandbaby boys. I was happy I could help take his mind off of his loss for an hour.

Baby bump=weight gain. I knew that I was going to gain weight. Duh! I knew with twins I was expected to gain at least 50 lbs. I was willing to except that as long as I didn't know how much I was gaining and didn't know what the number on the scale was. I have been doing so well and so had the staff who would take my weight. Well, the doctor said we were doing well on weight gain and actually said outloud in front of me and James what my weight is and I just wanted to cry. Yes I know it's all for the boys but it's definitely hard to accept. I NEVER EVER want to hear that number ever again in reference to my weight. I wasn't at my ideal weight before we got pregnant anyway. There were parts of my body I was unsatisfied with, as I'm sure most woman experience. However, now I know I need to work even harder to get the hot body I want back! I guess I'm insecure about being sexy or attractive after birth so that my husband still finds me hot. He loves the baby belly but once the babies are gone, for both of us, I want to get rid of the bump. I'm also worried about the stretch marks. People tell me they will fade but two babies in a small frame makes for a TON of those evil little marks. I don't want to feel ugly to myself or my husband. As I sit here and type, B has the hiccups and I know despite all the feelings and insecurities I have, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I can't wait to meet my boys!

4 comments:

Amy said...

So sorry to hear about your dad's friend passing away. Thanks for the prayers. I'm praying for you too!

Amy said...

if it makes you feel better i gained 60 pounds with one! :) but i'm like you, i didn't look at the scale and had no idea how much i weighed until the day i delivered. out of site out of mind! but one week after delivering i've already lost 25 pounds without really trying, so don't worry, the weight will come off, and you will again be a sexy mamma!

Alicea said...

I have those same fears. Losing the weight, the stretch marks fading, my husband finding me hot after birth. I have a friend that has a tiny, tiny frame - she was 100 lbs before getting pregnant and gained 50 lbs with her first and she looked awesome after a few months. She gives me hope that it's possible! Especially if you plan to BF - I hear the weight just melts right off. That's what I'm banking on. :)

Katie said...

So sorry for your dad's loss - glad he has those wonderful babies boys to fill his heart. I'm right there with you on the stretch marks - my weight gain has been good (I weigh myself regularly at home so it's no surprise), but I still LOTS of those evil marks on the underside of my belly. I also wasn't in my ideal shape before getting pregnant, but hopefully the drive to lose the baby weight will result in an even better body post-pg! GL!