Friday, May 29, 2009

33 Weeks....YAY!!

How far along? 33w1d
Total weight gain/loss: I haven't kept track but I'm definitely LARGE
Maternity clothes? A few maternity items still fit, but I've outgrown most
Stretch marks? Makes me want to cry
Sleep: Some. I toss and turn from left to right but I've been getting more sleep this week than when I first came home from the hospital
Best moment this week: My sister giving me a pedicure
Movement: Tons, I'm convinced these boys are gymnasts
Food cravings: Ok, so I've never ever liked beer, but every time I see one of those beer with lime commercials I want one badly. I also have been wanting a shaved ice/snocone.
Labor Signs: Sometimes I feel cramping until I take the procardia to stop contractions. I know I'm contracting, but I'm not really feeling anything.
Belly Button in or out? Definitely out
What I miss: Being able to pee, wipe, and get off the toilet easily
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery, Dr's appointment on Monday, seeing 34 wks and having these babies
Milestones: Started decorating the nursery, made the final "must get before babies are born" list of stuff we still need, started packing the hospital bag

I am so excited to hit 33 wks. We had a few goals set and hitting 33 makes us one week closer to hitting the next goal and one week closer to meeting our little boys. 28 was our first goal, then 32, now 34 is the big goal. 35 and 36 are what the Dr's are hoping we hit, but if we can make it to 34, we'll all be very happy. I feel so large and uncomfortable plus I'm having a hard time moving around and breathing that I'm anxious to hit 34 and then deliver. I know these babies need to stay in as long as possible but my small frame feels like it's about to brake so I'm not sure how long we'll make it past 34. It's crazy and amazing to think that in just a week or two our sons will be here. Is that even right? We're going to have to baby boys that we get to take home and keep??

I keep going back and forth on a few things. Some days I'm seriously nervous about delivery and others I don't worry about it. I will have more of an idea of what we're planning after our ultrasound Monday. If both boys are head down or close enough, our plan will be to try for a vaginal delivery. Having somewhat of a plan, even though I know it can change, will put me more at ease. I know our delivery is going to be different than what I can picture because we'll be delivering in the operating room and I don't know what it's like. I was present when my cousin gave birth to her 2nd child so that's the only delivery I know so that's just what I figured ours would be like. I've never seen the operating room at our hospital and I opted not to take a tour while we were there because I could totally see myself getting way too nervous.
I'm ready to have the babies and be a mom. I'm ready to feel normal again. On the flip side though, I'm definitely going to miss being pregnant. I'm going to completely miss feeling the boys move around inside of me. That is the most precious and intimate feeling and it makes me so sad to think I'm not going to feel it anymore.
I know we can do this, raise twins, and I know God never gives you more than you can handle, but I do wonder how well we'll do with two instead of one. I know we'll figure out what works best for us and find a flow, but if we mess up big time, we'll be messing up two children instead of one. I guess I'm just going through what all new parents to be go through.


Shannon said...

I am so stinkin' excited that you have reached 33 weeks, yay!

I think the feelings you talk about (nervous about delivery method, missing being pregnant, hoping you dont "mess your kids up" :)) are completely normal. I think each stage of pregnancy has its own fears and although Im not at your stage yet, I can completely understand your fears.

All I can tell you is this- you are going to be an awesome mom. And if at any time during delivery or after you have fears, look to God. He will ease your fear and he will hold you in his hand.


Alicea (mnbride1013) said...

Yay - I'm so happy you made it to 33 weeks! I was thinking about your this morning - I hadn't seen an update in a while.

I know exactly how you feel, though. I go rounds with my emotions on this pregnancy. Some days I'm sad that it's all coming to an end in 10 weeks and then other days I think it can't come soon enough (and I'm only carrying one in there!).

You and James are going to be awesome parents. Just be prepared for those rough days and know they are comin'. They do whether you have one or two. That's what I keep telling myself. I know it's not going to be perfect and will not be what I picture in my head, but either way - we'll get through it. :)