Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Worst Fear

After I went to work yesterday the spotting stopped. I didn't even have a hint of anything. Thank God!!! I did, a lot! After work I stopped by Hobby Lobby to get the iron on for the shirt I wanted to wear for Thanksgiving. It was our way of announcing to my mom's family our wonderful news. After that, I went to my sister's house so she could cut my hair. She wanted to give me a "Mommy cut" which to me was just cutting it shorter than what it was. We stopped by Target beforehand and when we got ready to cut my hair, I had to use the bathroom. At that point, the spotting started again, but it wasn't all brown, it was a reddish brown. Luckily, I have a sister whom I am close enough with she was willing to look at the color so I wouldn't freak out. She saw the brown had a red tint too. I called James, told him and the only thing I could do was monitor it. We decided to go ahead and cut my hair. After she finished, I immediately went to the bathroom to check and this time there was blood. Not bright red blood, it was more of a brownish red but it was clearly blood. Kelly checked it again and she agreed, it didn't look like spotting, it was blood. I called the dr's office to have the on call dr paged. 45 minutes later, we called again and she called me back within another 5 minutes.

This conversation did not go well. She basically said I could be miscarrying, but if I was, there wasn't anything they could do. Sitting in an ER all night wouldn't help. She recommended I "sit tight" monitor it, if it was more than a pad an hour, go to the ER, but if not, wait until Monday and they'll bring me in first thing for an ultrasound. This was not comforting in the least. I have never been so sad in my life. We couldn't be losing this precious gift we waited and prayed for? James came to pick me up from Kelly's house and when we were getting ready to leave, I went to the bathroom again and it was almost all gone. We got home, I checked again, barely anything there and it was brown. I woke up this morning and just the tiniest bit but there hasn't been any since. I'm so happy that it's gone, but still very cautious. I know spotting is common, everyone has told me that, but it still doesn't take away the worry. I am calm today and I feel like everything is going to be okay, but I will feel much better after the ultrasound Monday. I just pray the baby is healthy and growing as it should.

Needless to say, I stayed at home today, on the couch, laying down with my feet up. I didn't want to take any chances and the dr did say to lay around as much as possible. I didn't get to tell my family like I had planned. My mom told them instead, to explain why we didn't make it for Thanksgiving. That was a bit of a bummer because we were very excited to tell them, but I will do anything I have to do for this baby!

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