11w 3d

We hit 11 weeks on Christmas Day. Our little brownies are the size of limes. I think limes are fairly big and to have two of them growing in there, I no longer feel bad for outgrowing my pants. James and I had a little discussion last night about my body changing. Of course I can see and feel the changes, but he said he's starting to see my belly taking shape. It's such a strange, yet interesting process. I got a couple gift cards to go shopping for maternity clothes and I need to use them because I need some pants for work.

The sick feeling seems to be few and far between, as long as I eat. If I wait too long or eat too much then I start to feel bad. If I don't get enough sleep, then I feel sick all day. I'm finding I have a little bit more energy too. I'm loving that because now that the holidays are over, I'd really like to organize my house. It's hard to believe but we've only been here a little over 2 months so there's a lot I'd like/need to do. I'd like to get as much done as possible soon because once we find out what we're having, we'll be focusing on the nursery. I can't wait to find out!! We've had the same ultrasound tech do both of our ultrasounds and she explained since we're having twins we have to have a "level 2" ultrasound at 20 weeks so she can't do it. (It will be done in the hospital) She said she'd love to tell us what we're having so if she can tell earlier, she'd gladly tell us before 20 weeks. I'm so hoping she will be able to tell us earlier. I'm finding that I get hungrier much more often now. Smells still get me but I'm finding my taste for food again and that makes it so much easier when James and I are trying to decide what to make for dinner.

I'm going to scan the latest U/S pics, hopefully tonight, and get them up here asap. It's time for another belly shot too.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!!

Merry Christmas

I just want to wish everyone a very Merry and Blessed Christmas!! I hope everyone has a wonderful day :) I also hope everyone gets their Christmas wish!! I am very blessed to be pregnant with these babies, but this year, my Christmas wish is for someone else. I'm praying for a Christmas miracle and I can't wait to find out the news!!! Love and Hugs to all!!

The Most AMAZING Moment

There are a few moments in my life that I would consider incredibly precious and truly unforgettable. They've impacted me in the most important ways. The first was my baptism. The second was my wedding. The third was the moment I realized I was pregnant. But I experienced something at the doctor on Friday that I just can't explain. My heart is incredibly full of love like I've never felt before.

At our doctor's appointment, we knew the dr was going to listen for heartbeats with a doppler. We also knew that with twins, she might not hear both. That was just the case. She heard one but couldn't find the other so we were sent to ultrasound. Of course I didn't mind. I wanted to see our babies again. And that's just what we did. Apparently baby A is kind of blocking baby B so that's why the dr could only hear one. We looked at baby A first. I think she calls the one closest to the cervix baby A (since it's a vaginal ultrasound). I could be wrong but I think that's how she explained it. We listened to the heartbeat and it was just as strong as can be. You could even see the pulsing of it's chest on the monitor. Baby B apparently is going to be our wild child. B seemed to be hiding behind A. This is when it happened. My eyes swelled up with tears and I felt so incredibly happy and blessed. When she singled in on B, it was just bouncing around, moving it's arms all around and kind of kicking. B was so active. We could see one of our babies moving. I think at that moment it felt real. They weren't some little blob or dot on a picture. They look likes babies and were moving like babies. I think at that moment, I felt like a mom because I knew that is a little person that is part me and part James and they're going to be our little bundles of joy that are ours. It was truly the most amazing moment. I absolutely can't wait to hold them in my arms!!!

A Special Thanks

To my cousin April. She has graciously let me borrow her maternity clothes. And let me say, there are a ton!! It's like I've hit the maternity jackpot :) Luckily, she got pregnant right around the same time last year that we did this year so her clothes will be the right season the whole time. I went through 4 large bags of clothes last night. It was so fun. It was the first time I've tried on any maternity clothes and let me say, COMFORTABLE! James was like, "I think that's the point!" Some fit right now and some I'll easily grow in to. I'm going with my mother in law today to see the Nutcracker Ballet and I was worried I wouldn't have anything to wear since I've outgrown my black dress pants. Well lucky me...she had a pair that fit now and the cutest selection of shirts. I'm going to feel cute today! I'll have to take a picture of me wearing my first maternity outfit. It may not seem like a big deal, but aside from seeing our little brownies, this feels like the first pregnancy milestone.

I'm going to wrap presents but I will post later on our dr's appointment. I have more pictures to post.

10w1d / Next Dr's Appointment

Today we go back to the DR. We're not seeing my regular dr b/c she wasn't in this week so we're seeing someone else-the dr I talked to on call when I had the bleeding. It should be interesting. We're very excited to hear their heartbeats again. The last time, since it was on the ultrasound, it was so quick. Now that the shock of twins has worn off, we'll be able to really focus on the sound, our babies's heartbeats. I hope they're both very strong. Since I've never had an experience with the doppler to listen for the heartbeats, I think it's going to be a bit interesting since we're listening for two. I can't wait. We're going at 1:30 so I hope work goes by quickly!

9w 1d/ 1st belly shot

"Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!" From www.thebump.com

Yay!! They're starting to look like babies :) How exciting. We go back to the DR next Friday, 12/19, and we're supposed to listen for the heartbeats. I can't wait to hear them again!!

Since we're now 9 weeks, I decided that it is time to start documenting the belly growth so this morning, I took my first belly shots. They didn't really turn out well, but there one that shows that the belly is starting to poke right on out there ;)

Uh, Thanks I Guess

Today at work, one of the girls told me, "You look like you're pregnant!". I'm very close with most of the ladies I work with so A. It was hard to keep the secret and B. I do not take well to being sick so those who didn't know figured it out quickly. The statement itself was not a shock. However, tomorrow I'll be 9 weeks and even though there are two little brownies growing in there, I don't feel like people should be noticing a belly. I'm hoping it was the sweater I had on today because it has a "kangaroo pouch" on it that makes the belly area puffy. Obviously I can tell my belly is poochie and James can too. I just feel like it's too early for people to think that. Oh well, I guess it's just a mental thing I'll have to get over, quickly.

Last night my nausea went one step too far. I threw up. I've been lucky and up till that point, I had only felt sick on and off. Last night I woke up about 11:30ish feeling sick but nothing happened. Then again about 12:30, I woke up this time certain I was going to get sick and ran to the bathroom. My wonderful hubby even got up and got me a rag and some water. He's been so great!!

8 weeks

"Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. " From www.thebump.com

Two Babies?!?!?!?!

The doctor's appointment went well. They're not sure what caused the bleeding but they did the ultrasound and an exam and things look great. I felt like everything was going to be okay, but the ultrasound did give me the piece of mind I had hoped it would.

When the lady came in to do the ultrasound, she said she'd do what she needed to and then show us what she saw. James was kind of leaning over me watching her and I just kind of stared up at the ceiling because I couldn't see the screen. As James was watching, he kind of smiled at me and held up two fingers. He said, "I think I see two.". I didn't think that was funny. I told him to quit messing with me. He said he wasn't and asked the tech if he was counting right. She just said she'll show us as soon as she was finished. A few minutes later she turned the monitor so I could see it and there were two. She said, "Yeah, there are two of them!" I couldn't believe it. She said they're each in their own sac and the membrane between them is thick which means they're probably fraternal instead of identical. She said the only way to know for sure is if when we go in for the 20 week ultrasound we find out one is a girl and one is a boy or if they're the same sex, we'll have to wait until they're born. Was she seriously talking to us? I started crying after she labeled them baby A and baby B. We got to hear each of their heartbeats and they were nice and strong. We could see their hearts beating on the screen. It was wonderful. Those really are our babies. We're going to have two babies.

I didn't understand why it took so long for us to get pregnant. It was hard to see past the pain sometimes, but God had a plan. He knew we needed a bigger house for the blessing He had in store for us. I believe the only reason I had the spotting and the blood was so we would be brought in for the ultrasound so we could find out about both babies :)

Dr's Appointment Tomorrow

Tomorrow we go to the dr as a follow up to the call I placed Wednesday night because of the bleeding. For the last two days, the spotting had seemed to go away. Today, it's light, but it's back. I trust everything is going to be okay so I'm not really nervous, but I know the ultrasound will give me extra piece of mind. I guess we'll also find out how many babies there are. I know twins run in my family, but I just don't feel like there are two of them in there. If there were, I'd feel a little better about my pants feeling tighter ;)

At what point in time does it become ok or acceptable to start buying maternity clothes? I have a cousin who was pregnant the same time last year as I am so she said I could use her clothes since they are for the same seasons I'll need. I'm wondering if it's too early to call and come get them. My shirts are fine, it's jut my work pants. I'll hold off as long as I can, but I'm wondering when that will be.

The Worst Fear

After I went to work yesterday the spotting stopped. I didn't even have a hint of anything. Thank God!!! I did, a lot! After work I stopped by Hobby Lobby to get the iron on for the shirt I wanted to wear for Thanksgiving. It was our way of announcing to my mom's family our wonderful news. After that, I went to my sister's house so she could cut my hair. She wanted to give me a "Mommy cut" which to me was just cutting it shorter than what it was. We stopped by Target beforehand and when we got ready to cut my hair, I had to use the bathroom. At that point, the spotting started again, but it wasn't all brown, it was a reddish brown. Luckily, I have a sister whom I am close enough with she was willing to look at the color so I wouldn't freak out. She saw the brown had a red tint too. I called James, told him and the only thing I could do was monitor it. We decided to go ahead and cut my hair. After she finished, I immediately went to the bathroom to check and this time there was blood. Not bright red blood, it was more of a brownish red but it was clearly blood. Kelly checked it again and she agreed, it didn't look like spotting, it was blood. I called the dr's office to have the on call dr paged. 45 minutes later, we called again and she called me back within another 5 minutes.

This conversation did not go well. She basically said I could be miscarrying, but if I was, there wasn't anything they could do. Sitting in an ER all night wouldn't help. She recommended I "sit tight" monitor it, if it was more than a pad an hour, go to the ER, but if not, wait until Monday and they'll bring me in first thing for an ultrasound. This was not comforting in the least. I have never been so sad in my life. We couldn't be losing this precious gift we waited and prayed for? James came to pick me up from Kelly's house and when we were getting ready to leave, I went to the bathroom again and it was almost all gone. We got home, I checked again, barely anything there and it was brown. I woke up this morning and just the tiniest bit but there hasn't been any since. I'm so happy that it's gone, but still very cautious. I know spotting is common, everyone has told me that, but it still doesn't take away the worry. I am calm today and I feel like everything is going to be okay, but I will feel much better after the ultrasound Monday. I just pray the baby is healthy and growing as it should.

Needless to say, I stayed at home today, on the couch, laying down with my feet up. I didn't want to take any chances and the dr did say to lay around as much as possible. I didn't get to tell my family like I had planned. My mom told them instead, to explain why we didn't make it for Thanksgiving. That was a bit of a bummer because we were very excited to tell them, but I will do anything I have to do for this baby!

7 weeks

Week 7: Blueberry

"Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place." From www.thebump.com

I'm finding that the morning sickness I experienced at the end of last week and beginning of this week is gone. When I get really hungry I have the worst hunger pains, but not so much nauseous. Once I'm finished eating, I do feel a bit nauseous but it's faint and goes away quickly. I'm still very tired and food still doesn't sound good. I did manage to get some turkey and potatoes down today. You must eat turkey on Thanksgiving and it actually tasted pretty good. Food still doesn't have much of a taste so I was excited. Speaking of food, I'm starting to get hungry, AGAIN :) Time to eat.

Scary Moment

We had our first and hopefully last scare yesterday. When I went to the bathroom there seemed to be the faintest hint of what I could only assume was spotting. When I went back a second time, there was more. There was more the third time so I called my dr. When they called back, she told me as long as it stayed brown, it's okay. Well that's so comforting. Of course my reaction is to call around and ask a few people if they spotted early on in any of their pregnancies. They all said no, but it was common and not to worry about it. I know this was coming from a good place, but it didn't help one bit. The internet just had a bunch of scary information. Alicea told me it could just be the baby burrowing down further in and that made perfect sense and I calmed down some.
It seemed to come in waves, just like the morning sickness. It would lighten up then get a little more, then ligthen up. After laying down most of the night, it seemed to have gone away. I called Holly, a mother of triplets and a nurse, and she said the baby was probably just implanting and it's totally normal, not to worry but keep her updated.

This morning when I woke up, it was gone. As I moved around and stood on my feet to get ready, there is a little bit there now. I'm going to try to do what everyone is telling me and not worry about it because it's still brown. There's nothing that I can do except pray and trust. We waited a long time for this blessing and I just pray that everything is ok.

6 weeks.......food=YUCK!!

"Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate." From www.thebump.com

So apparently at 6 weeks morning sickness kicks in. I've had a moment here or there where I felt a little sick and I've had several food aversions. However, today it felt like it came out of no where. Food doesn't sound, smell, or taste good at all. I do not want anything sweet at all, which is the total opposite of how I normally am. Food in general just doesn't appeal to me. Someone told me they really knew I wasn't feeling well because I said even pizza sounded gross. That's a big red flag for anyone that knows me. This being said, it's kind of cool. The feeling sick part isn't, but experiencing pregnancy is. It's truly amazing what's going on in there and how it affects me. I know I have a long road ahead of me and I'm sure it won't be easy. I'm going to take one day at a time and appreciate every moment of it. This is truly a blessing, a beautiful and wonderful gift and I will not take it for granted. I will take whatever comes my way. I, of course, will document it and be honest about it, but it will not be complaining.

On a side note, I'm totally jealous that my stepmom and sister are going to see Twilight tonight at midnight. I hope I get to see it this weekend!

First Appointment

We had our first prenatal visit today. It's official, confirmation of pregnancy! YAY!!! They confirmed the due date of July 16, 2009. We talked about a few things with the dr and then we got into the part I guess I need to get used to, the exam. Apparently they due a pap smear at your first visit. It was a little more uncomfortable than usual and it caused some light cramping that I normally don't experience after. The most unusual part of it, James was right there the whole time. It was an interesting experience for both of us. I go back again Christmas week to hear the heartbeat. She said if we can't hear the heartbeat, she'll do an ultrasound. We're very much looking forward to that!! I'm hoping to find out if there's just one or two in there :) I've always been teased about twins since dad is a twin, but the other night dad told me there's twins on my mom's side too. WOW. I guess we'll find out soon enough. Overall, it was a good appointment. We did get a lot of information and we're very excited to learn!

First Appointment Tomorrow

Our first OB appointment is tomorrow at 10:10. I'm excited and nervous. I want to know everything is healthy and going well. I'm not sure what to expect though. I guess we will find out.

Telling his Family

Griffin was the first family member we told. He had come over to the house when my prenatals were sitting around so we thought me might have had a clue that we were trying. We taped Uncle over the daddy part of "My daddy can arrest your daddy" and put it in a bag for him. When he pulled it out, he laughed. When we told him we were going to have a baby he said "Are you f'ing serious?" Then he laughed and said it was awesome. We were very happy that he was excited.

Telling his parents didn't exactly go the same way. They seemed to be in shock from the time we told them until the time they left and we hope they will adjust to it quickly and become excited.

Telling my Family

Wednesday 11/12 was my dad's birthday. When we found out, I knew that I wanted to tell my dad on his birthday. I knew it would be the best gift ever! Since my parents are divorced, I had to devise a plan to surprise them both separately but on the same day. I also wanted to tell my sister badly so we decided to tell them all on dad's birthday. Here was the game plan: Back in February we bought "Why I love Grandma" and "Why I love Grandpa" books to give both sets of grandparents as the announcement. I wrapped dad's book since it was his birthday, left mom's in the bag from the bookstore and to tell Kelly, I made her a t-shirt that said "AUNT KELLY". We went out to dinner Wednesday night and went back to dad's house for birthday brownies. After Kelly left, I gave dad the book and when he opened it, he seemed a little confused. I had written, "Happy Birthday Papaw, We love you" on the inside and when he opened it, his face lit up. In the same high pitched voice James used, he asked if I was pregnant. I told him yes. He asked if I was serious and again I said yes. He asked really and again, yes. He started crying. It was so sweet. He gave me a hug and of course I started crying. He was so happy. He later called me and told me it was the best present we could've given him.

We stopped by mom's next and woke her up. I handed her the bag and told her we had picked her up a book at the store. She took it out of the bag, looked at it and said she needed to find her glasses. She walked out of the room and James and I stood there laughing. She walked back in and was like, "What's this?" I read the title out loud and she was like ok. I said it again, Why I love my grandma and it still didn't hit her. So I said, "you're going to be a grandma!" She asked if I was serious and when I said yes, she started screaming and jumping up and down. Then she hugged me and cried. The tears were running down my face too. She was so excited asking me all kinds of questions. We just asked that she not tell anyone, at least until we went to the dr.

After mom's we went to Kelly's. I had put her t-shirt down in an Old Navy bag that had 2 shirts in it that I had picked up for her. She pulled it out and kind of looked at it puzzled. Then it hit her and she asked if I was pregnant. When I told her yes, she gave me the exact reaction I had predicted. She screamed. Oh did she scream. It was so cute. She immediately started talking about planning a shower. She asked if it was a surprise or if we had been trying. She was the only one that night to ask and we told her it had taken a year. Then she walked up to my belly and started talking to it. Very cute.

I couldn't have asked for better reactions from any of them. Honestly, we got the reaction from each of them that we expected. Lots of excitement, tears and screams. It was clear my family is very excited.

Our Journey

On Wednesday November 5th, we got the best news of our lives. We're having a baby. I took 3, yes 3, tests to make sure.
We couldn't be more excited!! At this point, we haven't told our families yet so it's just our little secret. We know just how thrilled they'll be to find out they're going to be grandparents. We're very blessed! I can tell this is going to be an interesting ride and I hope you'll be there with us, but I think you should know how we got to this point.

Last fall we found out our friends were going to be parents. That started us thinking and discussing when we'd like to try. We'd never really had the baby conversation other than that we both wanted kids some day. Luckily, when we sat down and had that discussion, we were both on the same page and wanted to start trying right after Kelly's wedding in October 2007. That night, after the wedding, we talked again and decided that night we would no longer use any form of birth control. It was a huge decision because we knew our lives would change, but we both felt ready. James and I decided that since this was such an intimate decision, we really wanted to keep it just between us and not tell our families. That was very special to us.

The first month was exciting. It was the thought that we could've made a baby. However that cycle ended without a positive test. The first month was very disappointing. We knew it probably wouldn't happen the first try, but it still hurt. The second cycle had the same result and at this point, I started to think maybe this isn't going to be as easy as we thought. So I decided to join TheNest.com's message board Getting Pregnant. The woman on there seemed to know a lot and were a good anonymus support group for each other. They recommended I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It opened my eyes to quite a bit on how my body worked and just how small the window is to actually get pregnant. I honestly think that people don't realize how small that window really is and how lucky they are when it happens quickly.

At this point I decided to start monitoring my Basal Body temperature to make sure I was ovulating and to get an idea of what my cycles looked like. I seemed to fit the text book cycle, 28 days with ovulation on day 14. Of course every cycle was a little different, but the majority of the time, I followed that pattern. At the end of each cycle, since I knew how many days I was past ovulation and could tell which day I should start, I started to be overaware of my pms or what I was hoping were pregnancy symptoms. I think every other month I convinced myself I was pregnant. Each month was more disappointing to find out I wasn't.

I saw my GYN in June for my annual exam and talked to her about it. She said it can just take some couples longer than others to get pregnant and since we were young, just relax and if it hadn't happened after one full year of trying, call her. Ok, so we kept trying. While working at Humana I stayed stressed all the time so when I was able to quit and start at Frazier, I was so happy. I thought that with that big stressor gone, surely it would happen. Wrong again. After we bought the house, we thought ok, this is what He was waiting for. We have a new house, room for a baby, surely it will happen. The September cycle ended without a positive test. James and I were starting to get very discouraged. Why, if I'm ovulating regularly, were we not getting pregnant? Was there something wrong? We kept praying and I just couldn't figure out why He wasn't answering our prayers.

After finishing up cycle 11, I had a very very hard time. I cried a few times a week. Seeing pregnant woman and even being around kids was hard. I went to the zoo with our friend Holly and their triplets for Halloween trick or treating. I love those kids and love spending time with them, but that night was difficult because everywhere I looked, it seemed like I saw a pregnant woman. At this point, I felt empty. Eventhough I was praying, I don't think I was fully giving it up to Him. I prayed for peace and He gave it to me. I prayed for the pain to be gone and He took it away. I prayed especially hard after I called my HR department and found out infertility was completely uncovered. Infertility is unsuccesfully trying to conceive for one year. Here we were about to reach the end of our one year and we were faced with having to pay for testing and possibly treatment on our own. I prayed so hard that this cycle we would get pregnant. Last Sunday in church, I cried as I prayed with all I had for God to bless us with a pregnancy and child. He heard. He was no longer silent. He gave me such a peace that day that I honestly can't describe it. I had tremendous hope. Sunday night I noticed my boobs were sore. Typically, that is not a pms symptom, but the very few times I did experience that, it was gone at least 3 or 4 days before I was supposed to start. In keeping with my 28ish day cycles, I was expected to start Monday or maybe Tuesday. Monday came, boobs were sore, I did not start. Tuesday came, my boobs were very sore, I did not start. I still had this peace about it all. I just felt like when I decided to test, it would be positive. Wednesday came, boobs extremely sore, I still hadn't started.

Wednesday on lunch I decided to drive out to the dollar tree and buy a test. James was working overtime from 3-6 so I knew I had enough time to test and set up how I would tell him. Right after work, I went to the bathroom and took the test. I was prepared to wait the 3 minutes but I didn't have to. The wonderful pink line showed up almost instantly. I stood there in shock. I knew it was positive, but after trying a year and waiting to see one of those tests say "YES YOU ARE PREGNANT", it still had to sink in. After it hit me, I started crying and was incredibly shaky. I started praying THANK YOU!!! That moment made all the pain, disappointment and heartache we'd gone through over the last year worth it. God had a plan for us and we had to wait for His timing and His will. When I left work (driving through the tears wasn't easy) I listened to a Barlow Girls cd that had a song with a verse in it that said exactly what I needed it to say. I listened to the song over and over the entire drive home. The verse says "Praise to God on high, He has heard our cry!" It's that simple and true. I went to WalGreens to get a First Response Early Results test. I wanted to make sure the dollar tree test wasn't bad. I also bought a Clear Blue Easy digital test and a card. The kid who checked me out probably thought I was crazy. I went home, took the other two tests, saw the digital say "PREGNANT" and anxiously awaited James to get home. Back in February I bought a little onesie to give to James that says "My daddy can arrest your daddy". I filled out the card, wrote Daddy on the outside, tapped it to the front door, and set the onesie on the banister just inside the door so he wouldn't miss it. When he came home, we had the most precious and special moment of our marriage. I know that moment will change with the birth of our child, but when he came in and realized what was going on, it was wonderful. Such a blessing!

Now we are going to tell our parents and go to our first doctor's appointment. I know you're not supposed to tell people right away because you don't know what could happen, especially early on. However, we've been waiting for this moment for a long time and we want to enjoy it and share it with our families. Dad's birthday is Wednesday so we plan to tell my parents Wednesday and his parents Thursday. I'll let you know how that goes. We have our first doctor's appointment Monday Nov.17 and we're excited. Please pray for everything to be healthy.

So this is where we are. Our journey to pregnancy wasn't easy and I know pregnancy won't be easy, but we're so happy and as ready as we can be.