Yesterday we had a very exciting moment and terrifying moment with Ethan. Accomplishment overshadowed by fear. My biggest FAIL moment as a parent.
During play time both boys were on the floor playing with a musical table (the only way I can describe it). I was picking up breakfast dishes and when I looked in the living room and was so proud of what I saw. ETHAN WAS CRAWLING!!! He's been close, scooting, and army crawling backwards. This time he was up on all fours moving forward. A real crawl. I was so proud of him. It's amazing how they just keep doing all these independent things. I need to be on my game even more now because he's on the move. Time to seriously baby proof. You hear that James?? Must be done like NOW.
So when it was time for afternoon nap, I took Ethan up first so he wouldn't get in to anything. When I got upstairs with Lucas, Ethan had started to pull himself up in his crib. This is where I go wrong. I picked him up, laid him back down on his back (I should've taken him out). I sat down in front of his crib to figure out how to lower the mattress. I guess Ethan wanted to know what I was doing because when I looked up, I saw a baby falling at me. Oh yes, I let my baby fall out of his crib. Worst moment of my life. I immediately scooped him up and started crying. How could I do this?? And of course all the worst possibilities go through my head. He has a brain injury. He's never going to be the same. I've broken my baby. Ethan cried all of about a minute. I cried longer than he did. I called my aunt who is a nurse and a friend from work (oh by the way I started working on fridays to bring in a little extra money). Work is a neurorehab program....we do therapy with brain injured patients. Makes sense why the first thing I thought was brain injury. She told me what to watch for but to her it sounded like he was just more scared than anything, otherwise he would've cried longer. Thank the good Lord he didn't get any bumps or indentions on his head. I watched him closely all day yesterday and he seemed absolutely fine. Today he seems absolutely normal so I guess he really is just fine. I still feel completely awful. I know stuff happens, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Needless to say I'm going to watch him like a hawk...more so than before. After I calmed down, you better believe I lowered that bed.
2 hours ago